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Monthly Archives: August 2004

147699

I have mix feelings concerning investing in stocks: not taking part is an option I refuse to consider but at the same time doing so is in total contradiction with my political ideas. I have invested since I started to work: I made every possible mistakes and lost a lot of money as well as won some. I consider it a game at times – which I perfectly understand may shock people – but I don't loose the finality of it: end up with a portfolio that is positive. Even better worse, I'm not sure what to do with the money eventually – which again I understand may shock certain -: retirement plan, pay up all morgages, travelling, charities, …

It's like playing Simcity ® except that one doesn't have the possibility to remove stray/random elements such as natural disasters.

It may sound stupid and childish but I need reasons to feel Ok continuing. T doesn't give a damn; he uses every € he earns to continue constructing his little house at Vellefaux; I don't think I know someone less interested. A has more problems accepting my … bipolarity. Since caring about what other people think is part of my personality I am … in trouble.

Problem is that it deals with money. Like a player at the casino I'm interested in the right formula, the perfect martingale. I could talk and make my spread sheet fume twisting statistical and probability functions for hours. Sometimes I realize it's a good thing I don't think of the value of what I invest. It's scary but now it generally amounts to one month salary… I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be more, 6 months, a year, …

The most reassuring sentence I recently heard was said by a preast, in a film; during a confession scene he simply asked: do you think you've made the best of the capacities in you?

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Posted by on August 31, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

147205

I saved someone yesterday… a woman. Same car of the train I was riding on my way from Dijon to Châlon. She sat on a broken chair and fell as the train was about to depart and the door was automatically shutting. She was on the floor before I could do anything but I prevented her from going any further and maybe having her head crushed…
My conclusion is that there are probably good things in me, I mean more than bad ones since I didn't … push her. She was older than me so was obviously a dead weight in this society: I'll have to pay for her retirement plan, medical expenses, etc. Who will mine? Next time I definitely need to think twice before acting inconsiderately. Damn!! why didn't I just look the other way?The train would have dragged her body over miles and miles, tearing it apart, blood splashing all over the car, the entire train turning into red. Come to think of it I forgot my camera at Besançon so … *head hanging over the desk*

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

147022

Headache… not too violent though but … I can hardly think…
Just 2 days ago we could enjoy at least 10°C more *sigh* and now, here I am … in France. I don't think it is possible to live in a tackier, more stuck up, boring, obnoxious, pretentious country. No, I really don't think it is possible. I'm sorry, I'm tired of living in here. 40 years is a long time after all. ^_^

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

146905

The last evening at Florence we went to the 4 leoni restaurant (trattoria rather). Young P not appreciating the change of her plans aside T and I are still wondering what was so special about that place… I hope we didn't miss something? Wine was good …

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

146686

Happy birthday to !!

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

146385

Unlike I had the chance to loose my father very quickly. I don't think know if I would have behaved with as much dignity as Chris did had my dad suffered the kind of degenerative disease chris' father died from…

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2004 in Uncategorized

 

146138

We're back. Not at Besançon yet but at Dijon, at K's who was kind enough to pick us up at the train station (and make sure her little baby P was Ok). I didn't manage to sleep very well this time…

A strange thing happened to me yesterday; a man came to me and said: Don't I know you?… about 60 years old, american from the accent which he confirmed later, living in Florence in a little studio by the Palazzo Vecchio… Originally from California, San diego, he told me he thought I was some man from there too… We all have a double in the world; his would live in the Netherlands for that matter and mine in California… A sign? ^_^

I'm glad we're home; not so I work tomorrow *sigh*

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2004 in Uncategorized