It's past 08:00AM, outside though temperatures are a bit chilly. I'm preparing for my second ride and, yes, with again 2 days off to come and not a worry in mind things couldn't be better.
There are some, no matter how beautiful it is outside it might as well rain or fall shit for it wouldn't make much difference with what they're feeling inside. I don't like what I read , your symptoms and most of all the worries your post conveyed. I don't like it because I don't know how to best comfort people in similar situations. I don't like it because, selfishly, it could be me next, I don't know.
I don't know how other would deal with an 'uneasy' ct scan technician or a 'bit more serious than usual' physician. How do they do those who apparently live through it without visible signs they're living hell? I couldn't, I know myself.
I imagine the day I read some f***g analysis with really bad results I'll receive it like a ton of bricks on my feet, I'll crumble, stumble, fall maybe and yes, from that day on, will see others differently. Others and me live in different worlds. Others belonging to the sound one, not me.
My paths and theirs might be separate they do communicate though. Yes, the same blue sky and shinning sun may look different depending upon our perspective of things then, they're there for us all. Don't separate yourself from the rest because you so happened to have bad news, you so happened to learn that your life will take a different route than the usual common one for a while.
I wouldn't say, like one of your presidents, that there's “nothing to fear but fear itself” because there is. I'd say fear is definitely not your best friend. Neither is pessimism, Courage and realism are.
I haven't finished my breakfast yet. I already anticipate my balls will, again, become numb during the ride.